You know how it goes. You’ve dusted off those gym shoes in the first week of January. Purchased yourself a nice bit of apparel to sharpen up your gym garb in the second week. You’ve even actually attended two or three aerobic classes, shrugging off the soreness of that first session, turning up focused and determined for the next class. And yet. You near the end of February, and your tally of gym classes hasn’t budged since that first optimistic fortnight.

Studies suggest 80% of New Years’ resolutions have failed by the second week of February. Research collected from the data of 800 million Strava users, an app for running, cycling and hiking, found that most people give up on their New Years’ resolutions within 19 days. The Strava team now refer to January 19 as “Quitter’s day”.

There are various factors for why resolutions on the first day of the calendar year are generally
unsuccessful. Goals may not be realistic enough, steps towards these goals may not be concrete or specific enough. This list goes on. But the problem may not be how these goals are set, but more so when we set them. We may be far more likely to achieve the resolutions we set in March, rather than January.

If the character of the months could be described as animals: January is a monkey. We’re well
rested, so have plenty of energy. We’re jumping all over the place, grabbing this vine, this
coconut, this banana – we’re playful, and full of inspiration. We’re motivated to change, to
pursue new paths, to set new habits. We’re motivated, but disconnected from the realities of
the grind. A monkey just isn’t great at commitment.

February? Don’t even bother. All of that freedom and hope and excitement is being swiftly stolen as we return to work, the school routine, the year, kicking and screaming. Picture a wild brumby being forced into the confines of a stable, or a work cubicle. Not a great time to set a resolution.

And then March comes along. We’re more like a Clydesdale work horse – head down, plodding along, a certain acceptance (read: resignation) to the groove of the grind. The excitement and pressure of the New Year has subsided somewhat, yet we retain some of the energy and clarity from our summer break. Importantly, we’re more connected to the reality of our lives, so are better prepared for the difficulty of setting a new habit. It’s the perfect time to instil a new habit – let’s call it a March Resolution.

The truth is, setting a new habit is uncomfortable. While the benefits associated with your intended habit are exciting, motivating, perhaps life-changing, the actual setting of the habit relies on an openness to some discomfort on a consistent basis. Perhaps you’ve heard it takes 21 days to set a new habit? It’s a myth. This abstract figure actually arose from a self-help book in the 1960s, in reference to how long it may take for a patient to get accustomed to the results of their plastic surgery. How it forged its way into the parlance of habit formation is a complete mystery.

So how long does it take to actually set up a new habit? According to Wendy Wood, Professor of Psychology and Business at the University of Southern Carolina and author of Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick, new habits take about two to three months to stick. So, if you can at least make it to June, your habit is far more likely to become integrated into your life.

 

Top Three Tips to Forming Lasting Habits:

1. Apply the Laws of Friction

Simply put, increase friction to reduce unwanted habits, and decrease friction to pave the way for positive habits. To take the example of “I don’t want to drink alcohol on weekdays”, while we may have a box of wines in the house for dinner parties, we can increase the friction to easily accessible wine in the weekday by storing the box in a back corner of a dusty shed at the back of the garden.

Sure, we can still get ourselves a bottle if we need it for a Saturday dinner party, but if we want a glass after a work day, we need to walk to the back of the garden, open the rusty shed door, clamber through a mess of sticky cobwebs before reaching the box behind the old push mower. Never underestimate the power of “I can’t be bothered.”

Conversely, for a positive habit like going to the gym before work, make sure you have at least two sets of gym outfits so you’re not needing to do a wash after every gym session, and have all of the clothes ready the night before, directly beside your bed if that makes it easier.

 

2. Go as Small as Possible

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results, says:

What he said.

 

3. Set an Accountability Measure

Imagine a political party or charity that you actually hate. Now imagine donating a significant amount of money to said group. Feels a bit silly, right? This is the crazy idea behind Stickk.com, a Yale based initiative to support people to make themselves accountable to their set goals.

First, you set a goal. Next, you choose an anti-charity and an amount of money that you will pledge to that cause if you don’t follow through on your commitment. I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing like avoiding having a publicly listed donation of $200 to the Shooting Industry Foundation of Australia (SIFA; seeking to unwind Australia’s gun regulations) to encourage me to stay off the mid-week booze for three months.

If this level of commitment is a bit extreme for you, you could instead state your intended habit to a couple of trusted friends, asking them to kindly support you if you find yourself straying.