Mislabelled - Casual Language vs Clinical Reality

Picture this: You’re having coffee with a friend, and they casually mention having “anxiety”, and you nod in sympathy. A little later, they talk about being “totally burnt out” and maybe even joke about having “adult ADHD.” It’s a conversation many of us have indulged in as mental health terms have become part of our everyday language. But here’s the thing—what do these words really mean? Are we actually talking about anxiety, ADHD, and burnout? Or have they become placeholders for describing how we feel without fully understanding their meaning or impact?

In psychology practice, we see this language mismatch all the time. It’s understandable— mental health awareness is on the rise, and people are feeling more comfortable talking about their struggles. But there’s a gap between how we casually talk about mental health and what these terms signify in the world of clinical psychology. Let’s unpack that, starting with anxiety and depression, two of the most common mental health issues in Australian society.

Casual Language vs Clinical Reality

We all experience moments of emotional discomfort like nervousness or sadness. But in the clinical sense, anxiety and depression are far more than passing emotions. Clinical anxiety can manifest as chronic, excessive worry that lingers for months, sometimes years, impacting every area of life. It’s the kind of feeling that makes leaving the house or getting out of bed a monumental task. 

Depression, similarly, isn’t just about feeling down after a bad week—it’s a deep, pervasive state of despair or anger that strips away joy and motivation. It’s not something you “snap out of” with a night’s sleep or a good pep talk.

Sam, a client who presented with “depression”, carried a strong sense of shame about this self-ascribed label. After unpacking their experience it became obvious that they were stressed and exhausted from long work hours and performance pressure, and disrupted sleep as a new parent, but not clinically depressed. Normalising the experience and calling it what it really was helped lift the shame and sense-of-stuckness, so they could open up to what they needed and how to get back to better functioning.

The ADHD Label

“I must have ADHD, I can’t focus on anything today.” It’s an easy joke to make when you’re feeling scattered or distracted, but ADHD is more than just having a short attention span. It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts every part of a person’s life—work, relationships, self-esteem. People with ADHD struggle with organisation, impulse control, and attention management in ways that go beyond the occasional bout of distraction.

Usha was a client who after years of feeling “lazy” and “unmotivated,” was diagnosed with ADHD in her thirties. She told me, “It was like my whole life suddenly made sense.” For her, it wasn’t about having a few unproductive days—it was about a lifelong pattern of struggling to keep up with tasks, be on time or meet deadlines, that others seemed to manage effortlessly.

In this instance the right diagnostic label can be liberating as it removes the moral judgement of ‘laziness’ and instead turns the discussion to relative cognitive strengths and weaknesses and the therapeutic approaches that can significantly improve functioning and life quality.

The “Narcissist” and “Sociopath” Labels

Have you ever heard someone call their boss a “narcissist” or an ex-partner a “sociopath”? These labels get tossed around so easily, as though they can explain away any difficult or manipulative behaviour. Think of a season of MAFs or an episode of Dexter as the perfect personality disorder spotting opportunity. 

But diagnosing someone with a Personality Disorder is no small thing. These are serious, lifelong conditions that disrupt functioning and relationships, and can only be diagnosed through comprehensive clinical evaluation.

A client who was a manager in a law practice once asked me, “Do you think my employee is a sociopath?” and went on to describe behaviours such as broken promises, avoiding coming into the office, pushing back on work requests, and being argumentative. First of all, the only way you can make a diagnosis is in collaboration with that person and in the context of their life, not by proxy. It was as if slapping the personality disorder label on the employee would explain everything and justify putting them in the ‘too hard’ basket or letting them go.

The reality, of course, was much more complex. The employee was struggling, but not because of a personality disorder. Instead, there were issues with the work environment, their level of skill and experience to meet the demands of the role, and personal trauma history that resulted in a range of avoidance and control behaviours. Labels like “sociopath” or “narcissist” can make us feel like we’ve cracked the code, but more often than not, they oversimplify the real problem, and consequently the best way forward.

Perpetuating stigma

So, why does any of this matter? Overuse of clinical labels can reinforce stigma around mental health conditions. For example, calling someone “OCD” just because they are organised might trivialise the experience of individuals who actually live with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Misusing these labels can perpetuate misunderstandings about serious mental health issues and contribute to a negative societal perception of those who suffer from them.

Misinformation – validity and confusion

Using clinical psychology diagnostic labels in everyday conversation can be problematic for other reasons as well. Diagnostic terms have specific criteria, usually outlined in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), which must be met before a professional can make a formal diagnosis. When people casually use terms like “bipolar” or “depressed” to describe mood swings or temporary sadness, they oversimplify complex mental health conditions. This can undermine the validity of these diagnoses and cause confusion.

People might begin to self-diagnose based on the casual use of labels, which can be risky. Clinical diagnoses are complex and require professional assessment. Overusing these labels in everyday conversations can spread misinformation about what mental health conditions truly entail and how to treat it.

Using diagnostic terms lightly can also make people feel misunderstood or alienated. If someone genuinely struggles with a mental health condition, hearing these terms used casually or incorrectly can minimise their experience, making it harder for them to seek support. It can also lead to a sense of shame or reluctance to disclose their diagnosis.

Am I normal?

‘Am I normal?’ is one of the most common questions asked in therapy and more often than not the answer is ‘yes’. But knowing how to respond and manage our own thoughts, emotions and behaviour is a less common life skill. That is where a mental health professional can be your guide and empower you to be the master of your own mind.

The casual uses of diagnostic labels can blur the line between “normal” or “clinically significant” mental health experiences. This can create the impression that everyday emotions and behaviours, like feeling sad, stressed or distracted, are abnormal or problematic. In reality, we all just need the self-awareness and psychological skills to navigate these very human experiences.

If you’re busy labelling yourself or others as “bi-polar” or “socially anxious” but never digging deeper, you might miss the chance to understand what is really going on and address it in a meaningful way. And that’s a missed opportunity for awareness, healing and growth.

Moving Forward

Mental health awareness is increasing, and that’s a great thing. As we continue to talk more openly about these issues, we also need to be mindful of the language we use. The terms we throw around matter because they shape how we understand ourselves and others.

So, the next time you’re tempted to say you’re “depressed” or label someone a “narcissist,” take a moment to pause. Ask yourself what you really mean and what you’re really feeling. Life and mental health are far more nuanced than a quick label—and recognizing that complexity is the first step toward true understanding and support.

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The author, Dr Jo Mitchell is a clinical and coaching psychologist with over two decades of client experience.

*Client examples are de-identified and/or created from an amalgam of client experiences.