We rely on science to inform our exercise, sleeping and eating patterns – so why not use it to help us to have healthy relationships?
Improving our relationships depends on skills that we can learn and practice in our lives – many people come to see a relationship therapist to work on these skills. But there are also a wealth of resources developed by relationship experts that you can access. We asked one of our Couples Therapists, Dr Owen Spear, to share the books and podcasts that he loves and recommends to others.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love By Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller use science to explore how to find and sustain love. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their partners follow, provides advice about how to pick a healthy partner, and offers guidance on how to manage their own and other people’s difficult behaviours.
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Dr Sue Johnson’s program, Emotional Focused Therapy, focuses on de-escalating conflict, creating emotional connection and strengthening bonds between partners. In Hold Me Tight she explores her therapy model and uses case studies to illuminate advice and practical tips couples can implement for stronger more nurturing relationships.
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work, John Gottman
John Gottman’s seven principals guide couples on a path towards a long and harmonious relationship. Based on his research of the habits of thousands of couples, Dr Gottman explores the science behind what makes happy relationships. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work covers the findings, tools and techniques that have helped thousands of couples from around the world.
Your Brain on Love, The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships (Audiobook) by Stan Tatkin
Throughout his audiobook, Your Brain on Love, Researcher and Couples Therapist Stan Tatkin merges insights from neurobiology and attachment theory to help couples shift from conflict to more loving connections. Tatkin guides readers through his proven principles and practices for building enduring commitment between partners, family members and others.
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch
Passionate Marriage explores proven techniques for helping couples develop greater intimacy. In the book, David Schnarch highlights the ways people can keep passion alive and find sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. This practical text helps to lay the groundwork for helping couples overcome relationship hurdles and reach their full potential.
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; a step by step guide to help you decide whether to stay in or get out of your relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum.
Mira Kirshenbaum draws on her counseling experience to lead readers through relationship ambivalence. 36 questions and self-analysis techniques are designed to help people decide whether or not they want to stay in a relationship. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay offers straightforward advice and information to help readers get to the heart and truth of their relationships.
Relationship Alive! Neil Sattin
From John Gottman, to Katherine Woodward Thomas, to Sue Johnson – in Relationship Alive! host Neil Sattin interviews some of the world’s best relationship experts. Neil digs deep to find the nuts and bolts of what makes up good relationships, and how to make them last.
Where Should We Begin? Esther Perel
Psychotherapist Esther Perel opens the doors to her office in this podcast, where listeners are guided through real conversations between her clients. They bare the raw, real and intimate details of their relationships to Esther, who – no matter how heartbreaking the conversation can be – always manages to make them laugh. Where Should We Begin is a beautiful podcast that creates space for people to listen and be heard.